Bipolar Disorder.

Bipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder, historically known as manic–depressive disorder, is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and moodwith or without one or more depressive episodes. The elevated moods are clinically referred to asmania or, if milder, hypomania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes, or symptoms, or a mixed state in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time.^[1] These events are usually separated by periods of "normal" mood; but, in some individuals, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, which is known as rapid cycling. Severe manic episodes can sometimes lead to such psychoticsymptoms as delusions and hallucinations. The disorder has been subdivided into bipolar I,bipolar II, cyclothymia, and other types, based on the nature and severity of mood episodes experienced; the range is often described as the bipolar spectrum.

This explains all. Lately, I'm experiencing mood swings and it affects the people around me. It's hard to handle. One day I'm happy, next day I'm sad. I don't really meant to be that kind of bipolar. But based on what I've read, this is particularly same with mood swings. I don't know how did this happen. 

Sometimes, I wan't to be alone. Just want to walk alone. Go somewhere far away from the people I used to be everyday. I'm having a very hard time nowadays, plus the fact that there are too much stress in school and home. I don't want to have them at the same time. I want to walk alone, and take some time thinking about the things around me. I need answer. Answer that I will understand. Answer that will make me cheerful again.

Somehow, I've lost my self confidence. WHY? It's like I'm a rose without a water. Hopeless and senseless. I feel that I am not worth it. I feel that I've lost all my confidence. Insecurities run into my head. I felt that no one can ever save me from this quicksand. I just need somebody to lean on. I felt that I AM NOW WORTH HAVING.

I don't need someone who can listen only to me. Yet, I WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND ME.